Awesome Monkey Facts!
You Probably Didn't Know!


Awesome Monkey Facts You Probably Didn't Know!

Nim the Chimp was the first monkey to learn sign language. The first thing he signed was a request for a tiny pair of monkey pants.

The term "guerilla" as it is used to describe warfare comes from an ancient South American tradition of arming gorillas and sending them into battle against their opponents. This tradition ended with the invention of the gun. While a gorilla can use a spear or sword effectively, he is unable to load a gun due to his pudgy fingers. Today, the term "guerilla" is used for any battle where gorillas would have been used.

Orangutans use rudimentary tools to take ants from anthills, open coconuts and to throw their poop further than any other primate except human beings. The record for human poop throwing is five miles and involved a complicated series of rockets and gliders. The record for orangutans is less than one mile.

Albert the Second became the first monkey in space in 1949. His spaceship disappeared after making contact with an unidentified flying object. Although there is no proof, a cult has developed in the United States that believes he was captured by aliens and transformed, with the aid of cybernetics, into a super monkey that rules a simian city on the dark side of the moon. This is probably not true.

Eye contact is a sign of aggression in the monkey world and often results in an attack. This is the source of the Nigerian folk saying, "He who stares at a monkey will lose an eye. He he who squints will pass unscathed."

Noam Chimpsky was a popular chimpanzee of the 1950s. His specialty was bowling and he beat professional bowlers several times on TV's Bowling For Dollars. His specialty was the 7-10 "banana" split! He died while driving a car blindfolded live on the Steve Allen Show in a misguided attempt at an Evil Knievel style car stunt. President Eisenhower, a huge Noam Chimpsky fan, sent a bunch of bananas to the funeral.

Actor Forest Whitaker, known for staring, was attacked by a chimpanzee during the filming of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He recovered quickly, but was left with a droopy left eye. The scene, a makeout session in a zoo, was left out of the film. The chimpanzee later went on to work with Clint Eastwood who suffered no injuries.

Monkeys store mushed bananas and other fruits inside of trees to ferment. These locations are called "monkey bars" and are popular meeting places. It is dangerous for the monkeys because the alcohol impedes their ability to use their prehinsile tales to swing from tree limbs causing them to fall to the jungle floor. Human activists have tried to get monkeys to stop visiting these bars, but so far monkeys don't seem to respond to any 12 step program. These "monkey bars" have no connection to the monkey bars on primary school playgrounds except for the identical name.

Art produced by monkeys is indistinguishable from art produced by modern masters except for one detail: monkeys have trouble drawing hands.

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Copyright 2007 David Wahl